Our Attachment Level with Stuff

I have been pondering our curious connection to stuff. We develop a relationship with inanimate objects. Oddly, objects associated to significant events, people, take on such deep meaning in our lives that we are hard pressed to let them go. So much so, that we even can find ourselves in an inexplicable bond.

Exploring the attachments we form with stuff produced an interesting study. Here are my results, based solely on experience, some definitions, and observation of behaviors toward stuff--my own and the customers with whom I've worked over the years.

Keepsake Level: Keeping a token or memento to remember an event, a person, or a place. Typically kept for a period of time, long or short. Usually given the "Awwwwwww.... I remember this" response.

Honor Level: When a token takes on a deeper level of value or meaning and is therefore offer greater care, storage, or display. Old photos of the family, the sword that our great, great uncle used in the war, a jar of sand from the trip to Israel where you had a spiritually significant encounter on the banks of the Dead Sea. These tokens are often given a place of honor, to be displayed, and their stories told to anyone who shows interest.

Memorial Level: When a token or event takes on a more official observance to keep its memory alive, we memorialize the experience with a ritual or ceremony, or date of observance. In my family, we created a special observance of Groundhog's Day based on my childhood memory of a community pancake feed. Every year, we have breakfast for dinner and invite friends over. Silly? Yes. Fun? Absolutely. But we have memorialized my experience from my youth which I remember very fondly and made it a part of our family culture. My grandmother always puts fresh flowers on the grave markers of family members during Memorial Day weekend. This is her way of remembering and honoring their lives and stories.

Idolatry Level: When a token, event, or memory takes on a power of it's own. Excessive attention and energy is spent supporting this value, be it beneficial or not. In some cases, it becomes obsessive or even a focal point of a form of worship. For the point of example, say you are obsessed with cows. Everything in your house is decorated in cow print, your car has spots, you wear cow clothing, and you have started a cow dictionary. You only wish to speak cow. Extreme behavior, but you see my point.

Some of the stuff in our basements, attics, and closets, have sentimental value. We have strong opinions and feelings about them. Take the time to assess where your feelings fall on the scale of memorializing. Is your level of value appropriate for you? For your household? For your well-being and spiritual health?

It's good to take a look and see if something has changed in its value so you can honor your memories in a healthy manner. It's also good to check in and see if an object has taken on an power of its own and you need some help in putting the object, and your affection for it, in a more appropriate level.


(c) 2010 Sheri Smith Bertolini