Okay, so maybe my husband has rubbed off more than I want to admit. Or maybe I like it. He has a habit of stirring things up by throwing "truth grenades" into conversations. Neither of us have a high tolerance for fluffy. We much prefer raw, honest approaches to life.
Sure, I come from a long of history of nice, kind, considerate and still believe that it is good and beneficial. But there are also situations and relationships which require an injection of raw meat--the kind that Lady Gaga wore as a dress. But just like her steak tartar attire, even honesty can offend.
Raw meat shows up in movies when a guy's face takes a beating. He holds a New York strip to his face to take down the swelling, I guess. (I always wondered if he grills it for dinner later...) Raw offense can feel like a steak on your face.
Ever noticed that the phrase "taking offense" begins with the word "take"? You choose to take it or not. A beautifully prepared serving of offense is presented on a silver platter like hot hors d'oeuvres. You choose to help yourself... and hold it... or consume it. Or in some cases, you mount it in a shadow box and hang it on your trophy wall for years.
So here's the good news—you have more choices. If you have been offended (taken offense), whether justified or petty, righteous or indignant, you can choose to keep it or get over it.
If you are offended, ask yourself what you're getting out of it. You may be benefitting somehow—indulging emotionally, or giving yourself permission to be peeved at someone.
Sometimes we all feel the need to have a perfectly legitimate reason to hold someone in unforgiveness. As long as we hang on to offense, we forfeit our ability to forgive. Forgiveness means releasing the offense… and the offender.
So look in the mirror. Do you have a steak on your face? It works better on the grill.
(c) 2011 Sheri Smith Bertolini
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